Written by Tal
Tal was killed on March 5th, 2003 on the bus,
Two days after writing those poems.
"Actually nothing exciting happened to me lately,
But I reached the conclusion not to take anything for granted.
This is the problem of many people.
Their are lots of small things that can make you very happy.
Last Saturday was a marvelous morning.
Actually I do not remember not a nice Saturday.
Yesterday I received a new tooth brush,
A very minor event, but it made me happy.
A Friend of mine thought I was crazy.
Actually not, as I have already said, I don't think that rejoicing of life means being crazy"
Tal Kehrmann - March 3rd, 2003
"People tend to disregard happiness,
And I think I know why.
Because, when you happy you don't care why,
And you do not deal with it too much.
But when you are sad, you think of it and analyzed Why you are sad, Instead of let it be, let it go and be happy again.
I'm happy with no reason and I'm proud of it"
Tal Kehrmann - March 3rd, 2003
"In the mall, they teach kids how to kill
with a suit that whistles and a lazar gun.
One by one they shoot and fall.
Learn to die and to kill with the press of a button.
Everything is cheap in the mall..."
Tal Kehrmann - unknown date
"Thoughts and reflections at the end of adolescence"
(from Tal's blog - 15.2.03 - Tal opened the blog two weeks before her death)
" Well, then, as you probably understood, I'm about eighteen, the end of the twelfth, before the army.
It's quite ironic that in a period that should be a celebration of a temporary escape from the education system and an escape to an entirely independent world, I find that more and more people my age share this disheartening feeling of having nowhere to move forward. Life seems to me now like a dead end full of my own problems, I don't think I have the tools to deal with them alone or the desire to dump everything on other people who are clear to me that they also have problems and it could be that their situation is even worse...
Not that I've ever been a lover of studies, but lately I find it really discouraging to get up in the morning... I just don't have a reason... I've already run out of strength and I'm broken from this closed institution that tries to fit me into its framework because "I have a lot of potential". But that doesn't explain the feeling.. On the contrary, I should be happy to get rid of all this... But on the other hand, I'm sure I'll miss this framework because what are we without a framework?
And precisely now that I am at the peak of the age which, according to what you say, is the best there is.. I ask myself.. is it the best there is? And I came to the unfortunate conclusion that yes... life ends after that independence is one big illusion because there are always obligations and this is the age with the fewest obligations so I guess also with the most independence and I just don't want it to end suddenly....
I thought I wouldn't have anything to write and I messed up my mind quite a lot... so I hope you weren't bored, just a conversation with my friend made me reflect...
And I want to hear what you think too.. I'll try to enter a lot..
Comments to the post she wrote:
" Tal! I lost three friends today in Gaza, just like the ringing of a cell phone that hits you like a five-kilo hammer in the head. The kind of thing that puts you in perspective and makes you wonder if you're living life the way you'd like to live, without having to look back and be filled with regrets. In my scattered and wandering thoughts, I remembered an appropriate sentence - happiness is not a fate, it is a process.
As someone who is in a slightly more restrictive framework than you, I can tell you that there will always be the framework/commitments/responsibilities, etc. If you don't enjoy yourself while doing it, you will find that life flows out of your hands running out slowly (or suddenly suddenly).
Tal was killed 18 days after Yair's comment...
Peleg wrote a response to Yair on 12/31/2003...
like you said:
"They end little by little or suddenly all of a sudden"
Tal was killed in a terror attack...
Two days before Tal was killed, she wrote on her blog:
"On Friday there were concerts... I personally really like concerts, there's good energy there, you can jump and sing and it's very liberating, I'm also hyperactive, so that helps a little :). This time, well-known bands performed... Useless ID was there
They seem to be the best because they are also successful abroad and they even come from Haifa, so respect...
The band member - Yotam Ben Horin wrote in Tal's memory:
"Bring Me Down" - "Useles ID" Band
My name is Yotam Ben Horin and I play in band called Useless ID which Tal really loved and came to all the shows. She was always the girl in the front row singing out all my lyrics...even the ones I used to forget. We had an amazing show 3 days before the explosion at the City Hall in Haifa.I remember her being there like it was yesterday. One of the weirdest things is that we were filming a video for a song "bring me down" which later on I heard it was her favorite.It turned out she is almost in every frame where the crowd appears in and got a special dedication at the end of the video as well. It shocked us all when we heard about the explosion, but in a way it shocked me more knowing that this person was one of us. the proud, the few. You are welcome to see the video at www.useless-id.com and I will leave you with a song I wrote which I was inspired to write by her memory.
Tal, you will always be missed.
Suffer For The Fame
Don't surrender to the world.
Let me know you wont suffer for the fame.
Sweetness is leaving me again.
I remember when we used to be...
Bring back the feeling. Oh, where are we now?
Stuck in a moment ‘til we meet again.
Lose the connection to better us all,
then maybe something will change.
Phase. Listen to the one voice inside
the crowd. Make somebody proud.
It's too late to leave me with a gift.
But I'll leave you with this song on how it is.
don't want it in my world.
In the video you can see Tal in the audience and at the end the dedication to Tal from the band